Certainty of ... not much. There is One God, I will die, just some of the things I am certain.

I use to be certain that men have penises and girls have virginas, but that changed with the craziness in the world today. Men cutting off their organs and women adding them for some false, temporary feeling they get when .... I wonder what their feeling will be at death. When they realize that feeling was temporary. But that's for another post.

When I was younger, I though I had certainty I would be an engineer, get married, have money and be a benefit to people. When I graduated from high school, I thought I had certainty I would get a bachelors degree. I thought was certain I would travel to different countries. I did all of that.

Now, in my mid 30's, I'm not certain of much. Somewhere along the way, I lost my vision; or is it my focus; or is it my certainty? Once I could say "I think I want to do ..." Next thing you know it was done. I still get the thought 'to do' but can't seem to get to the doing. Maybe it's a battle between what I think I need to do and what I want to do, continuously ending in a stalemate with nothing being done.

But do I really know what I want? Lets see. I want ahhhhh the first thing that comes to mind: 1 million dollars, a fast car, more than one wife (a south american wife, a european wife, a asian wife, I already have an african-american wife (she's wonderful by the way)) a charity organization, a socially responsible bank, to learn multiple languages, be a real estate investor, own a hotel, get a phd, to be a teacher, to impact the lives of others in a positive way, paradise; to please my Lord.

How do I do these when I have to provide for my children, and wife; work eight or more hours a day ( more like work 3 hours and sit in the office for the other 5+ hours) in a position I can do but cant stand the monotony.

I know I can do both, but where and how to start...